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Comparison on the route now and later after the development of city centre hospital

Comparison on the route now and later after the development of city centre hospital BJLAa
The two maps give comparison between the changes taken place to get an access to the city hospital in the year 2007 and 2010. There are lot of developments that took place in the year 2010 In the year 2007 the city road connecting to reach the hospital was narrow. The car park and the bus stop does not seem to be properly organised as bus stop was next to Car park. It can be observed from the map that in the year 2010 the road access to city hospital was more broaden that it was previously. There was a separate section allotted for public car park and for staff car park for city hospital staff. There was a separate bus station built which was more organised as compared to 2007. Unlike the narrow road in the year 2007 there were roundabouts built connecting the city road and hospital road in the year 2010. This will help curtail the traffic congestion leading to easy road access to city hospital. To summarise, the road access to city hospital in the year 2010 was more organised and convenient than it was in the year 2007
The two maps give comparison between the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
taken place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
in the
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year
2007 and 2010. There are
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
developments that took place in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2007 the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
connecting to reach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
was narrow. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
and the bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
does not seem to be
properly
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
as bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
was
next
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
. It can
be observed
from the map that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
was more broaden that it was previously. There was a separate section allotted for public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
and for staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
for city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
staff. There was a separate bus station built which was more
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
as compared to 2007.

Unlike the narrow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2007 there were roundabouts built connecting the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
curtail the traffic congestion leading to easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
. To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010 was more
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
and convenient than it was in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2007
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IELTS academic Comparison on the route now and later after the development of city centre hospital

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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