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Comparison of how urban Chinese spent across major categories in 1995 versus the spending habits in 2011

Comparison of how urban Chinese spent across major categories in 1995 versus the spending habits in 2011 e3OrG
The given pie chart represents the chinese people daily usage intake difference over 1995 to 2011. Spending habits for chinese community are seen majorly changing over these years. let's find out where it got changed. It can be observed from the pie chart that chinese citizen are deprioritizing food interest from 50% to 36% and giving more focus on transportation by adding 9% more with reference to two pie chart given with compares to all others expendesure. along with it, Slight difference is found in clothing by 3% decreased. similary, medicine intake got increased by 4%. also recreation and residential showing little upsurged by 2% and 1% respectively. At the end for household facilities no change found. in the coclusion, we found that intake for food is majorly changed which is advantage for chinese citizen as food consumption should be less to avoid health issues. whereas transportation is showing more lights. however, medicine intake is upsurged which is more concerning area for chinese goverment.
The
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given
pie chart represents the
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chinese
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people
daily usage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
difference over 1995 to 2011. Spending habits for
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chinese
community are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
majorly
changing over these years.
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let
's find out where it
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got
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.

It can
be observed
from the pie chart that
Possible spelling mistake found.
chinese
citizen are
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deprioritizing
food interest from 50% to 36% and giving more focus on transportation by adding 9% more with reference to two pie
Possible agreement error. The noun 'chart' seems to be countable, so consider using: "charts".
chart
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given
with compares to all others
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expendesure
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
along
with it, Slight difference
is found
in clothing by 3% decreased.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
similary
, medicine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
increased by 4%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
also
recreation and residential showing
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little
upsurged by 2% and 1%
respectively
. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
for household facilities no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
found.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
coclusion
, we found that
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intake
for food is
majorly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
which is advantage for
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chinese
citizen as food consumption should be less to avoid health issues.
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whereas
transportation is showing more lights.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, medicine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
is upsurged
which is more concerning area for
Possible spelling mistake found.
chinese
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
.

IELTS academic Comparison of how urban Chinese spent across major categories in 1995 versus the spending habits in 2011

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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