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Comparing Two maps in an island

Comparing Two maps in an island do8DX
These two maps compare the different features of a certain island before and after building various touristic facilities. Firstly, it can be clearly seen that the vast majority of the island area was almost unused. Since it has only a small beach on its western part and some trees planted on both sides of the island. However, the central zone of the island was merely free. On the other hand. Numerous facilities were built later. First of all, a reception was constructed in the heart of the central region. This reception was connected to a restaurant in the northern area and the pier in the Southern part by a car truck. In addition, this pier was used for boat trips. Furthermore, many accommodation units were constructed on both sides of the reception with a footpath connecting the units with each other as well as with the reception. Lastly, it`s interesting to mention that the green areas and the beach were unchanged. Nevertheless, the eastern area of the island was not properly used as before. To conclude, it is noticeable that the island changed to a complete and beautiful touristic place that had many available facilities.
These two maps compare the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
features of a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after building various touristic facilities.

Firstly
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the vast majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
was almost unused. Since it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
beach on its western part and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trees planted on both sides of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
.
However
, the central zone of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
was
merely
free.

On the other hand
. Numerous facilities
were built
later.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reception
was constructed
in the heart of the central region. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reception
was connected
to a restaurant in the northern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and the pier in the Southern part by a car truck.
In addition
, this pier was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for boat trips.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
accommodation units
were constructed
on both sides of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reception
with a footpath connecting the units with each other
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reception
.
Lastly
,
You used an accent character instead of an apostrophe. Please use either "it's" or "it’s".
it`s
interesting to mention that the green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and the beach
were unchanged
.
Nevertheless
, the eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
was not
properly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

To conclude
, it is noticeable that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to a complete and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
touristic place that had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
available facilities.
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IELTS academic Comparing Two maps in an island

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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