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compares the percentages of staff instructed by four different companies between 2003 and 2006

compares the percentages of staff instructed by four different companies between 2003 and 2006 DYA6A
The graph illustrates the proportion of staff instructed by four different companies between 2003 and 2006. In general, it is evident that the number of staff trained by companies A and B fluctuated steadily over the period, whereas the amount gained by companies C and D changed considerably. The diagram shows that there was a similar trend between the percentages of employees trained by companies A and B throughout the season. In the first two years, the data remained stable before saw a slight growth from 27%-28% in 2003 to around 28%-34% at the end of the period. In contrast, the two companies C and D had an opposite movement. While the company C dramatically rocketed from about 25% to 36% between 2003 and 2004, the company D reached a low of 17%. From 2004 to 2005, the staff figure of company C fell significantly from 36% to 31% whilst company D rose sharply from 17% to 33%. At the end of the season, all these companies gave a gradual rise in terms of training employees. Overall, the graph depicts a considerable difference between the fluctuation of three companies A, B and C but increase in company D' instructed employees.
The graph illustrates the proportion of staff instructed by four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
between 2003 and 2006.
In general
, it is evident that the number of staff trained by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
A and B fluctuated
steadily
over the period, whereas the amount gained by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
C and D
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
considerably
.

The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that there was a similar trend between the percentages of employees trained by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
A and B throughout the season. In the
first
two years, the data remained stable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a slight growth from 27%-28% in 2003 to around 28%-34% at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

In contrast
, the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
C and D had an opposite movement. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
C
dramatically
rocketed from about 25% to 36% between 2003 and 2004, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
D reached a low of 17%. From 2004 to 2005, the staff figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
C fell
significantly
from 36% to 31% whilst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
D rose
sharply
from 17% to 33%. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the season, all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
gave a gradual rise in terms of training employees.

Overall
, the graph depicts a considerable difference between the fluctuation of three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
A, B and C
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
D' instructed employees.
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IELTS academic compares the percentages of staff instructed by four different companies between 2003 and 2006

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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