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compare the two maps and write 150 word

compare the two maps and write 150 word JK9aE
The two diagram illustrates the Grange park in 1920 and how it appears in today. overall, there are some significant changes has been made in current plan while the both entrances and one rose garden remain unchanged. Most remarkable change is the fountain which has been replaced by the rose garden and four seats are allocated around. Furthermore, stage for musicians has been converted to sophisticated and large amphitheater for concerts while the rose garden located in the left corner remain same. The seating arrangements of bottom and above left corners has been removed in current plan. Moreover, the rose garden has been converted in to a café and also pond for a water plants has converted in to a children play area. The right bottom, it shows the establishment of new entrance with an underground car park. Also the glasshouse has been removed and the same place replaced by a water feature. Lastly the total seating capacity has reduced to 4 in todays context.
The two diagram illustrates the Grange park in 1920 and how it appears in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
has
been made
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
plan while the both entrances and one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
remain unchanged.

Most remarkable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is the fountain which has
been replaced
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
and four seats
are allocated
around.
Furthermore
, stage for musicians has
been converted
to sophisticated and large amphitheater for concerts while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
located in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
corner remain same. The seating arrangements of bottom and above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
corners has
been removed
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
plan.

Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
has
been converted
in to a café and
also
pond for
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "water".
a water
plants has converted in to a children play area. The right bottom, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the establishment of new entrance with an underground car park.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the glasshouse has
been removed
and the same place replaced by a water feature.
Lastly
the total seating capacity has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to 4 in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
context.
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IELTS academic compare the two maps and write 150 word

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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