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The bar graph below gives information about the percentage of economic activity accounted for the agriculture and mining sector, the manufacturing sector and the service sector for the whole world and in different parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph below gives information about the percentage of economic activity accounted for the agriculture and mining sector, the manufacturing sector and the service sector for the whole world and in different parts of the world. 267n6
The bar graph illustrates the percent of commercial activities by three sectors by the entire world and including the different regions of the world. It is crystal clear that mostly manufacturing activities are dominated by every nation and also on world scale. Beside this, agricultural and mining sector is on second number after secondary activities by each region as well as by the whole world. However, the service sector is less preferable by some continents and worldwide. Considering the rest of the information, in Asia, manufacturing sector is at top from others consisting of percentage merely below 70. On contrary, in the same continent the employment sector is at bottom among others as it is nearly 5%. However, agriculture and mining activities are highly accounted as economic activities in Africa. Hence, the tertiary sector account for minimum proportion by all the continents as well as worldwide and the maximum account by manufacturing sector.
The bar graph illustrates the percent of commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
by three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
by the entire world and including the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions of the world.

It is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
mostly
manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are dominated
by every nation and
also
on world scale. Beside this, agricultural and mining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is on second number after secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
by each region
as well
as by the whole world.
However
, the service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is less preferable by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
continents and worldwide.

Considering the rest of the information, in Asia, manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is at top from others consisting of percentage
merely
below 70. On contrary, in the same continent the employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is at bottom among others as it is
nearly
5%.
However
, agriculture and mining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
highly
accounted as economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in Africa.

Hence
, the tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
account for minimum proportion by all the continents
as well
as worldwide and the maximum account by manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
.
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IELTS academic The bar graph below gives information about the percentage of economic activity accounted for the agriculture and mining sector, the manufacturing sector and the service sector for the whole world and in different parts of the world.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
153 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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