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compare the main method of transportation

compare the main method of transportation 2xVPx
The two pie charts depicted the primary modes of transportation used by people commuting to one university over a five-year period beginning in 2004. Overall, the train was the smallest segment between the top and bottom of the chart, with cars taking up the majority of the space. By the end of the year, the bus segment was the smallest. After 5 years, it is clear that the number of people traveling by car has significantly decreased. Although it was first with 51 percent in 2004, it dropped to 28 percent in 2009, which is less than half of Bus. In comparison, bus usage increased slightly from 33% to 46%, which is more than ten times that of trains. After 5 years, the percentage of people who ride a bicycle increased from 9% to 16%. Walking and taking the train still had the lowest rates of all modes of transportation. Train was 3% in 2004, but after five years, it had only added it had only uploaded 1%. Walking increased slightly as well, rising from 4% to 6%.
The two pie charts depicted the primary modes of transportation
used
by
people
commuting to one university over a five-year period beginning in 2004.
Overall
, the
train
was the smallest segment between the top and bottom of the chart, with cars taking up the majority of the space.

By the
end
of the
year
, the bus segment was the smallest.

After 5 years, it is
clear
that the number of
people
traveling by car has
significantly
decreased. Although it was
first
with 51 percent in 2004, it dropped to 28 percent in 2009, which is less than half of Bus.

In comparison
, bus usage increased
slightly
from 33% to 46%, which is more than ten times that of
trains
. After 5 years, the percentage of
people
who ride a bicycle increased from 9% to 16%. Walking and taking the
train
still
had the lowest rates of all modes of transportation.
Train
was 3% in 2004,
but
after five years, it had
only
added
it had
only
uploaded 1%. Walking increased
slightly
as well
, rising from 4% to 6%.
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IELTS academic compare the main method of transportation

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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