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Lincraft Shooter changes in population of animal breed in in 2011 to 2016 in the literal places of North America

Lincraft Shooter changes in population of animal breed in in 2011 to 2016 in the literal places of North America 3W6wX
The given graph illustrates the changes in population of wildlife field in between 2011 to 2016 in the littorall places of North America. The data has been calibrated in thousands and percentageOverall, graph of bears showed an upward trend over the period. However the bears are most protected species by authoritiesIt is crystal clear from the line graph, from the beginning to ending the population of abears increased continuously and reached as to nearly 200 thousand. Alternatively, the populace of whales showed fluctuations over the period and from 2011 to 2016 the amount of populace was same as nearly 75 thousands. Further the graph of dolphins was decreased continuously from 150 to 0 thousands in given time periodProbing further 65% amount has been spent on the bears to protect them while only 30% money has been spent to save whales and for protection of whales authority has utilised 5% money
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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graph
illustrates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in population of wildlife field in
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2011 and 2016".
between 2011 to 2016
in the
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littorall
places of North America. The data has
been calibrated
in thousands and
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentageOverall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
of bears
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend over the period.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the bears are most protected species by
Possible spelling mistake found.
authoritiesIt
is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
, from the beginning to ending the population of
Possible spelling mistake found.
abears
increased
continuously
and reached as to
nearly
200 thousand.
Alternatively
, the populace of whales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
fluctuations over the period and from 2011 to 2016 the amount of populace was same as
nearly
75 thousands.
Further
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
of dolphins
was decreased
continuously
from 150 to 0 thousands in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time
Possible spelling mistake found.
periodProbing
further
65% amount has
been spent
on the bears to protect them while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30% money has
been spent
to save whales and for protection of whales authority has
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
5%
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
money
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IELTS academic Lincraft Shooter changes in population of animal breed in in 2011 to 2016 in the literal places of North America

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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