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Compare map in curtain island

Compare map in curtain island kYALn
Two maps show the construction of facilities in an island. One map show the situation before and one map after the construction. In the first map there is not much for possible tourists to enjoy except a swimming area in the left side of the island. How ever in the second map there is a restaurant in the middle of the island on the left close to a reception. There is a vehicle track for tourists who want to reach the reception or the restaurant. Other important change is the construction of several accommodation sites for tourists not far from the reception. Other important facilities for enjoyment of tourists are the boats for sailing in the southern side of the island, where a pier can be seen and a beach for swimming in the left side. Overall, it seems the island is totally different after the construction of tourist facilities and especially the western and middle parts can be a good place for tourists to enjoy their stay.
Two
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maps
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show
the construction of facilities in an
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island
. One
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map
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and one
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map
after the construction.

In the
first
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map
there is not much for possible
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tourists
to enjoy except a swimming area in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side of the
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island
.
Did you mean "however"?
How ever
in the second
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map
there is a restaurant in the middle of the
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island
on the
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left
close to a reception. There is a vehicle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
for
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tourists
who want to reach the reception or the restaurant.

Other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
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change
is the construction of several accommodation sites for
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tourists
not far from the reception. Other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
facilities for enjoyment of
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tourists
are the boats for sailing in the southern side of the
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island
, where a pier can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
and a beach for swimming in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side.

Overall
, it seems the
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island
is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
after the construction of
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tourist
facilities and
especially
the western and middle parts can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to enjoy their stay.
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IELTS academic Compare map in curtain island

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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