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Compare and summarise two bar graphs

Compare and summarise two bar graphs n1n7g
These two bar graphs depict the quantity of tourists to two metropolitan areas Seattle and Niagara falls in 2012. The y-axes represents the number of visitors with intervals of half a million. The x-axes show the months of the year 2012 from January to December. The main difference between tourism in these two cities is the overall flow of visitors. The y-axis for Niagara falls has a maximum limit of 4. 5 million as where the y-axis for Seattle is 2. 5 million. The reason for this difference is that the greatest number of tourists in the months of July and August reaches 4 million in Niagara falls and only half of that in Seattle. Nevertheless, the trend in which the people visited these two cities are almost the same, that is, there is an increase in visitors from January till July and the same in July and August and then a decrease in rate from August till November. Seemingly there is an interesting increase in the number of visitors during the month of December in Niagara Falls.
These two bar graphs depict the quantity of tourists to two metropolitan areas Seattle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Niagara
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
falls
in 2012. The y-axes represents the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
with intervals of half a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. The x-axes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the months of the year 2012 from January to December.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
main difference between tourism in these two cities is the
overall
flow of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
y-axis for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Niagara
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
falls
has a maximum limit of 4. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
as where the y-axis for Seattle is 2. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. The reason for this difference is that the greatest number of tourists in the months of July and August reaches 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Niagara
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
falls
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
half of that in Seattle.
Nevertheless
, the trend in which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visited these two cities are almost the same,
that is
, there is an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
from January till July and the same in July and August and then a decrease in rate from August till November.
Seemingly
there is an interesting increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
during the month of December in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Niagara
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Falls
.
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IELTS academic Compare and summarise two bar graphs

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
178 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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