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The pie chart give data about the percentage of people's total spending in a specific European country was spent on various commodities and services between 1958 and 2008

The pie chart give data about the percentage of people's total spending in a specific European country was spent on various commodities and services between 1958 and 2008 PLw32
The pie chart give data about the percentage of people's total spending in a specific European country was spent on various commodities and services between 1958 and 2008. Overal, the source’s expenditures are separated into six categories: food, clothing, housing, transportation, entertainment and luxury goods. Regarding the fist pie chart, the necessity of luxury goods was the lowest which accounted for 7%. On the contrary, the highest proportion belonged to other service. During the year 1958 while the highest was food service which took into account for 32%, the second was the percentage of housing (22%). On the other hand the clothing, the transportation and the entertainment were 18%, 8% and 13% respectively. In the second chart, the population spent the most in housing service (32%). Although food service was the highest percentage in 1958 (32%) but there was a significant decrease of 20% in 2008. The luxury goods and transportation accounted for the same percentage of 17% that was a considerable growth. Beside, clothing fell slowly from 18% to 16% while transportation declined substantially and hit the lowest percentage of 6%.
The pie chart give data about the
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percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's total spending in a specific European country
was spent
on various commodities and
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services
between 1958 and 2008.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Overal
, the source’s expenditures
are separated
into six categories: food, clothing, housing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, entertainment and luxury
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

Regarding the fist pie chart, the necessity of luxury
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
was the lowest which accounted for 7%.
On the contrary
, the highest proportion belonged to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
. During the year 1958 while the highest was food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
which took into account for 32%, the second was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of housing (22%).
On the other hand
the clothing, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and the entertainment were 18%, 8% and 13%
respectively
.

In the second chart, the population spent the most in housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
(32%). Although food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
was the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
in 1958 (32%)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there was a significant decrease of 20% in 2008. The luxury
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
accounted for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of 17% that was a considerable growth. Beside, clothing fell
slowly
from 18% to 16% while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
declined
substantially
and hit the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of 6%.
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IELTS academic The pie chart give data about the percentage of people's total spending in a specific European country was spent on various commodities and services between 1958 and 2008

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
182 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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