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The following show consumption of energy in 2009 and 2010.

The following show consumption of energy in 2009 and 2010. 3ay9Y

In this modern world, Electricity is the most important aspect of human kind. The pie chart given illustrates global usage of electricity in the year 2010 and the table gives information of comparing the usage of year 2010 and 2009. From the chart, it is evident that oil is the major source of electricity consumption in the year 2010. To commence with, it is clear that oil, coal and natural gas together was responsible for almost 90% of worldwide usage. Here, coal gained 7. 5% increase in 2010, while oil and natural gas was increased to 2% and 3% respectively in 2010. Further, Hydroelectricity is contributing 6% usage in 2010, which is 5% more than what it had in 2009. Talking about nuclear energy, which is responsible for 5% global usage in 2010, gained lowest increase of 2% in comparison with 2009. While, Renewables is the most increased source in 2010 compare to 2009. Thus, it can be said that world wide electricity consumption is increasing day by day. It is high time that we move to electrical sources like renewables and hydroelectricity before it is too late

In this modern world, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withheatservice
Electricity
 is the most This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:vitalcriticalessential
important
 aspect of human kind. The pie chart This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accorded
given
 illustrates global You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmanagement
usage
 of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withheatservice
electricity
 in the year 2010 and the table gives information of comparing the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmanagement
usage
 of year 2010 and 2009. From the chart, it is evident that oil is the major source of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withheatservice
electricity
 consumption in the year 2010.

To commence with, it is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :apparent
clear
 that oil, coal and natural gas together was responsible for almost 90% of worldwide You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmanagement
usage
. Here, coal gained 7. 5% increase in 2010, while oil and natural gas was increased
 to 2% and 3% respectively
 in 2010.

Further
, Hydroelectricity is contributing 6% You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmanagement
usage
 in 2010, which is 5% more than what it had in 2009. Talking about nuclear energy, which is responsible for 5% global You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmanagement
usage
 in 2010, gained A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".the lowest
lowest
 increase of 2% in comparison
 with 2009. “While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, Renewables is the most increased source in 2010 compare to 2009.

Thus
, it can be said
 that Did you mean "worldwide"?worldwide
world wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withheatservice
electricity
 consumption is increasing day by day. It is high time that we This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :relocate
move
 to electrical sources like renewables and hydroelectricity This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 it is too Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphlate.late!late?late:late,late;
late