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clubs joined by the people of two different age groups

clubs joined by the people of two different age groups PgwJj
The bar chart illustrates the information regarding the preference of people in various leisure clubs, namely, music/dance, gardening, cycling, fitness and photography, by two categories of age groups 25-35 and 55-65. Overall, it is evident from the data that cycling is much preferred by the youngsters rather than the senior citizens. On the contrary, the people of age group 55-65 are more inclined towards gardening, rather than any other activity. The bar chart gives a clear picture that the people between the age group 25-35 were almost six times in number as compared to the people of age group of 55-65, who were merely 10 in number. On the other hand, they had chosen gardening over cycling. Moreover, arts and crafts was the next important recreational activity liked by the youth, which constituted 60 members but selected by only 20 members of the age 55-65. The number of people who joined fitness, music and dance clubs was almost same in both age groups. Furthermore, photography consisted of almost equal number of people of both age groups with approximately 45 members, each.
The bar chart illustrates the information regarding the preference of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in various leisure clubs,
namely
, music/dance, gardening, cycling, fitness and photography, by two categories of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
25-35 and 55-65.

Overall
, it is evident from the data that cycling is much preferred by the youngsters
rather
than the senior citizens.
On the contrary
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
55-65 are more inclined towards gardening,
rather
than any other activity.

The bar chart gives a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
picture that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
25-35 were almost six times in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 55-65, who were
merely
10 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
.
On the other hand
, they had chosen gardening over cycling.
Moreover
, arts and crafts was the
next
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
recreational activity liked by the youth, which constituted 60 members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
selected by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20 members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
55-65.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
fitness, music and dance clubs was almost same in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
Furthermore
, photography consisted of almost equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
with approximately 45 members, each.
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IELTS academic clubs joined by the people of two different age groups

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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