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Spend money on cell phones in 10 years

Spend money on cell phones in 10 years Nmdbd
The following line chart represents a vivid picture of yearly spending money on mobile phone and home phone services, over a period of a decade from 2001 to 2010. According to bureau of labour statistics consumer expenditure survey in united state. In 2001, people spend money on cell phone service is only 200 dollars and on residential phone services is 700 dollars. There was a continuous increase in cell phone service and slow and steadily fallen in residential phone services, so it stated at same in next five years (2006). They expenditures approximately $ 550 on each service that year. However, again there was a drastically increase in cell phone service which stopped at $ 750 in 2010, but there was a rapidly decrease in home phone services, stated at $400 in 2010. Overall, it is clear that there was a substantial boom in cell phone services whereas a considerable decline in home phone services and it stands at same after five years from initial year.
The following line chart represents a vivid picture of yearly spending money on mobile
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phone
and home
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phone
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services
, over a period of a decade from 2001 to 2010.

According to bureau of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
statistics consumer expenditure survey in united state. In 2001,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend money on
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cell
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phone
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service
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
200 dollars and on residential
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
is 700 dollars. There was a continuous increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
and slow and
steadily
fallen in residential
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it stated at same in
next
five years (2006).
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'They'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
They expenditures
approximately
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$550".
$ 550
on each
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service
that
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year
.
However
, again there was a
You used an adverb ('drastically') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
drastically increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
at
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$750".
$ 750
in 2010,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there was a
You used an adverb ('rapidly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('decrease') instead of another adjective.
rapidly decrease
in home
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, stated at $400 in 2010.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there was a substantial boom in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
whereas a considerable decline in home
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and it stands at same after five years from initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS academic Spend money on cell phones in 10 years

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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