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Chart on export revenue of the country

Chart on export revenue of the country jbLE8
The chart illustrates that export value of one country in various categories in 2015 and 2016 and the table shows the percentage of change in each category of exports in 2016 compared to 2015. Firstly, the earnings from petroleum products stood at 61 billions dollars in 2015 and it was increased by 3% in 2016. Secondly, engineered goods earned up to 57 billions dollars in 2015 through export and further increased to 62 billions in 2016 which is 8. 5% increase in terms of proportion. Next, the earnings of gems and jewellery from export stood at 44 billions dollars in 2015 and it decreased by 5. 8% in 2016 compared to 2015. Furthermore, agricultural products earned around 32 billions in 2015 and it marginally increased in 2016 by 0. 81%. Finally, the low earning category in the chart is textiles which earned only 24 billions in 2015 but it increased by 15. 24% in 2016. In fact, the highest among all in 2016 in terms of values. All in all, the country's earnings from export was increased in 2016 compared with 2015 year by marginal increase in all the categories except gems and jewellery which dipped by 5. 18% in former.
The chart illustrates that
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export
value of one country in various
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categories
in 2015 and 2016 and the table
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shows
the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in each
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category
of
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exports
in 2016 compared to 2015.

Firstly
, the
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earnings
from petroleum products stood at 61
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billions
dollars in 2015 and it was
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increased
by 3% in 2016.
Secondly
, engineered
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goods
earned up to 57
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billions
dollars in 2015 through
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export
and
further
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increased
to 62
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billions
in 2016 which is 8. 5% increase in terms of proportion.
Next
, the
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earnings
of gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
from
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export
stood at 44
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billions
dollars in 2015 and it decreased by 5. 8% in 2016 compared to 2015.

Furthermore
, agricultural products earned around 32
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billions
in 2015 and it
marginally
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increased
in 2016 by 0. 81%.
Finally
, the low
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earning
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category
in the chart is textiles which earned
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only
24
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billions
in 2015
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but
it
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increased
by 15. 24% in 2016. In fact, the highest among all in 2016 in terms of values.

All in all, the country's
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earnings
from
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export
was
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increased
in 2016 compared with 2015 year by marginal increase in all the
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categories
except gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
which dipped by 5. 18% in former.
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IELTS academic Chart on export revenue of the country

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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