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Chart of people watching TV or radio during day

Chart of people watching TV or radio during day p11md
The line chart depicts the percentage of Britons aged 5 or above, watching television or listening to radio over a period of 24 hours. The data is collected on a day of 1992. Overall, the line of television audience peaked at night, whereas, the audience listening to radio was at the highest number during the morning. Both lines faced a downward trend by the end of the 24 hours. On scrutinizing the television line on the chart, it is vividly clear that the audience for television in the UK started off with a mere value of 0% when the dawn broke. However, the audience figure started rising with occasional fluctuations until after 4: 00 PM in the evening, when the total figure grew up 25% more. The television audience reached a peak value of just under 50% by night, which supplanted the radio audience by a colossal margin of almost 20%. According to the chart, the number of British people over the age of 4, who played radio in the morning began with a bit higher value of roughly 6%. Although British audience soon experienced a drastic rise of sixfold by 8: 30 in the morning, the figure gradually plummeted by the end of the day.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
chart depicts the percentage of Britons aged 5 or above, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
or listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
over a period of 24 hours. The data
is collected
on a day of 1992.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
peaked at night, whereas, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
was at the highest number during the morning. Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
faced a downward trend by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the 24 hours.

On scrutinizing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
on the chart, it is
vividly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
off with a mere value of 0% when the dawn broke.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
rising with occasional fluctuations until after 4: 00
This is redundant. Consider using "PM".
PM in the evening
, when the total figure grew up 25% more. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
reached a peak value of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 50% by night, which supplanted the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
by a colossal margin of almost 20%.

According to the chart, the number of British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over the age of 4, who played
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
in the morning began with a bit higher value of roughly 6%. Although British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
experienced a drastic rise of sixfold by 8: 30 in the morning, the figure
gradually
plummeted by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day.
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IELTS academic Chart of people watching TV or radio during day

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
206 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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