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Chart gives information about the purpose of visits to five cities in uk in 2013

Chart gives information about the purpose of visits to five cities in uk in 2013 6AAr
The bar chart compares the information about the purpose of visit in five cities in 2013 UK. While in the figure it shows the purpose of holiday visit is highest in Edinburgh and the miscellaneous purpose is lowest. In Edinburgh it is about 65%of visitors vist the city for holiday and next stands london is 50%, liverpool is about 32%. In Birmingham the purpose of bussiness vist is highest of 49%, next stands Manchester is about 32%. Visiting friends and relatives is highest in city of Liverpool is about 29%. Among the all five cities the most vist for holiday is in Edinburgh, lowest was abput 45%less in liverpool. In purpose for bussiness the highest vist is in Birmingham is about 49% and lowest is about 39% less in Edinburgh. The vist for friends is more in london compare to other cities in UK. On the otherhand the purpose for miscellaneous vist is highest in liverpool and lowest is in Edinburgh.
The bar chart compares the information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
of visit in five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in 2013 UK.

While in the figure it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
of holiday visit is highest in Edinburgh and the miscellaneous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
is lowest.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "Edinburgh, it".
Edinburgh it
is about 65%of visitors
Possible spelling mistake found.
vist
the city for holiday and
next
stands
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london
is 50%,
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liverpool
is about 32%.

In Birmingham the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
of
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bussiness
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vist
is highest of 49%,
next
stands Manchester is about 32%. Visiting friends and relatives is highest in city of Liverpool is about 29%.

Among the all five
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cities
the most
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vist
for holiday is in Edinburgh, lowest was
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abput
45%less in
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liverpool
. In
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purpose
for
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bussiness
the highest
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vist
is in Birmingham is about 49% and lowest is about 39% less in Edinburgh. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
vist
for friends is more in
Possible spelling mistake found.
london
compare to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in UK.

On the
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otherhand
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
for miscellaneous
Possible spelling mistake found.
vist
is highest in
Possible spelling mistake found.
liverpool
and lowest is in Edinburgh.
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IELTS academic Chart gives information about the purpose of visits to five cities in uk in 2013

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
161 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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