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Energy use in Australian homes 2008

Energy use in Australian homes 2008 6dVk3
The pie chart presents the use of energy in Australian homes in the year 2008. As the chart shows, most of the electricity was used to control the temperature, whilst standby power accounted for the least. Most households living in Australia consumed 38% of the energy in heating and cooling, the greatest proportion of all. A quarter of the electricity was spent on water heating, which became the second-largest percentage of power used. 16% of home energy was used to operate other appliances, while both lightning and freezing devices, each accounted for 7% of energy use. Cooking comprised of 4% of the power. 3%, the tiniest amount of the electricity was stored in advance. By the way of conclusion, in 2008, the majority of energy was used in temperature control, after that is water heating, appliances, fridges and freezers, lightning, cooking, and standby power, respectively.
The pie chart presents the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in Australian homes in the year 2008. As the chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, most of the electricity was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to control the temperature, whilst standby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
accounted for the least.

Most households living in Australia consumed 38% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in heating and cooling, the greatest proportion of all. A quarter of the electricity
was spent
on water heating, which became the second-largest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

16% of home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to operate other appliances, while both lightning and freezing devices, each accounted for 7% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. Cooking comprised of 4% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
. 3%, the tiniest amount of the electricity
was stored
in advance.

By the way of conclusion, in 2008, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in temperature control, after
that is
water heating, appliances, fridges and freezers, lightning, cooking, and standby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
,
respectively
.
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IELTS academic Energy use in Australian homes 2008

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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