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before and after the construction of some tourist facilities in the maps

before and after the construction of some tourist facilities in the maps 15VMW
The given two maps above illustrate to us the information about how changed the building of many tourist facilities and surrounding. Overall, when looked the maps in detail, it can be seen that there were not life habitats in west of the island and then accommodation was built the west of reception. There were 6 rooms into the accommodation. Moreover, footpath was improved in the surrounding of accommodation. Restaurant was constructed the north of the reception. Furthermore, in thepast, there was no reception building but after the reception building and vehicle track were built, so, facilities were enhanced dramatically in the west of maps. As can be seen that the accommodation was built more at the east of maps. there were 9 rooms. After that, the footpath was constructed area of life houses. In addition, Pier was made at the south of maps. And it was let to enter the sea vehşcle. trees were planted much more at the seashore.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
two
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maps
above illustrate to us the information about how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the building of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourist facilities and surrounding.
Overall
, when looked the
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maps
in detail, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there were not life habitats in west of the island and then
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accommodation
was built
the west of
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reception
. There were 6 rooms into the
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accommodation
.
Moreover
, footpath was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in the surrounding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
. Restaurant
was constructed
the north of the
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reception
.
Furthermore
, in
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thepast
, there was no
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reception
building
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after the
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reception
building and vehicle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
were built
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, facilities
were enhanced
dramatically
in the west of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maps
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
was built
more at the east of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maps
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
were 9 rooms. After that, the footpath
was constructed
area of life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
In addition
, Pier
was made
at the south of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maps
. And it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
to enter the sea
Possible spelling mistake found.
vehşcle
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
trees
were planted
much more at the seashore.

IELTS academic before and after the construction of some tourist facilities in the maps

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
160 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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