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bar graph for travel in 1990 anf 2010

bar graph for travel in 1990 anf 2010 Q8nyw
The bar graph underneath illustrates how many childern travelled to school and back, using various forms of transport in years 1990 and 2010. The y axis displays the total number of trips made made by a student whereas x axis shows the mode transportation chosen by the student. During the year 2010 students who travelled by car incresed two folds as compared to 1990. Childern who made round trips to the school on foot were more than twice in 1990 than that of 2010. Scholars travelling by bicycle is reduced to thrice the ammount in 1990 moving forward to the students who chose bus and walking combined were reduced to half in 2010 in accordance to students from 1990. At last students making their way to the school by bus in 2010 made 5 round trips in contrast to 7 trips made by students in 1990. Students traveling by car increased in 2010 meanwhile other modes of transportation were used more often in 1990 and 2010 as well.
The bar graph underneath illustrates how
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many
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childern
travelled to school and back, using various

forms of transport in years 1990 and 2010. The
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
y axis
displays the total number of trips
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made made


by a
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student
whereas
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
x axis
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shows
the mode transportation chosen by the student.

During the year 2010
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students
who travelled by car
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incresed
two folds as compared to 1990.
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Childern


who made round trips to the school on foot were more than twice in 1990 than that of 2010.

Scholars travelling by bicycle is
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reduced
to thrice the
Possible spelling mistake found.
ammount
in 1990 moving forward to the

students who chose bus and walking combined were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to half in 2010 in accordance to

students from 1990. At last
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students
making their way to the school by bus in 2010 made 5 round

trips
in contrast
to 7 trips made by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
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1990. Students
traveling by car increased in 2010 meanwhile other modes of transportation were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used


more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
in 1990 and 2010
as well
.
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IELTS academic bar graph for travel in 1990 anf 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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