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Bar graph describing trends in consumption of fast food

Bar graph describing trends in consumption of fast food joKDd
The graph shows the changes in the demand for hamburgers, fish and chips and pizza from 1970 to 1990. It is immediately apparent that in 1970 the most popular food was pizza. The demand for pizza started from 300 grams followed by a spectacular fall of 200 grams in 1985. The striking feature of the graph is the demand for fish & chips. In 1970, fish and chips were the second favourite food among people, and from 1980 on the total demand surged to a high of 500 grams from 99 in 1970. Furthermore, hamburgers were the least popular food in 1970 with a total demand of 15 grams, which increased gradually till 1985. The total demand for hamburgers skyrocketed to 299 grams in 1990. In conclusion, there was a substantial increase in the demand for hamburgers and sea food, whereas there was a significant fall in the popularity of pizza.
The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
for hamburgers, fish and chips and pizza from 1970 to 1990.

It is immediately apparent that in 1970 the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
was pizza. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
for pizza
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from 300
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grams
followed by a spectacular fall of 200
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grams
in 1985.

The striking feature of the graph is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
for fish & chips. In 1970, fish and chips were the second
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and from 1980 on the total
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demand
surged to a high of 500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
from 99 in 1970.

Furthermore
, hamburgers were the least popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in 1970 with a total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
of 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
, which increased
gradually
till 1985. The total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
for hamburgers skyrocketed to 299
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 1990.

In conclusion
, there was a substantial increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
for hamburgers and sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, whereas there was a significant fall in the popularity of pizza.
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IELTS academic Bar graph describing trends in consumption of fast food

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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