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Bar chart: Fiction book sales, 2006 – 2010 (young adult, classics, mystery, romance and science and fantasy) v.2

Bar chart: Fiction book sales, 2006 – 2010 (young adult, classics, mystery, romance and science and fantasy) v. 2
The figure elucidates the number of the sales of five fiction books from 2006 to 2010. At first glance, it is evident that over the entire period, romance has the most enormous sale numbers in comparison with other books. To begin with, 2006 to 2010 witnessed a dramatic palpitation for the number of book sales for romance in which it, initially, stood at just above 160. 000 in 2 and terminated at well under 100. 000 in 2010. Following the same pattern as romance, mystery, which has the lower number book sales rather than romance, faced a significant fluctuation and finished at just under sixty thousand-tenths by the end of the period shown. In accordance with the other books, over the whole period, young adult and classics, additionally, experienced a gradual wave between 2006, which made up at well beneath 40. 000 and just less than twenty thousand-tenths respectively, and 2010, which constituted approximately at 25. 000 and 10. 000 respectively. Furthermore, at first, the sales of sci-fi and fantasy, which has the lowest score compared to other books, increased significantly to 20. 000, nevertheless, it also palpitated steadily in the next 3 years and finished at just below 200. 000 in 10.
The figure elucidates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of five fiction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
from 2006 to 2010. At
first
glance, it is evident that over the entire period, romance has the most enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
in comparison
with other books.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, 2006 to 2010 witnessed a dramatic palpitation for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
for romance in which it,
initially
, stood at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 160. 000 in 2 and terminated at well under 100. 000 in 2010. Following the same pattern as romance, mystery, which has the lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
rather
than romance, faced a significant fluctuation and finished at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under sixty thousand-tenths by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period shown.

In accordance with the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, over the whole period, young adult and classics,
additionally
, experienced a gradual wave between 2006, which made up at well beneath 40. 000 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
less than twenty thousand-tenths
respectively
, and 2010, which constituted approximately at 25. 000 and 10.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
000
respectively
.
Furthermore
, at
first
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of sci-fi and fantasy, which has the lowest score compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, increased
significantly
to 20. 000,
nevertheless
, it
also
palpitated
steadily
in the
next
3 years and finished at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 200. 000 in 10.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic Bar chart: Fiction book sales, 2006 – 2010 (young adult, classics, mystery, romance and science and fantasy) v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
203 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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