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Fast food in Australian teenager

Fast food in Australian teenager gGKbL
The graph compares the consumption of junk food for teens in Australia over a 25-year period, between 1975 and 2000. The data is in number. Overall, as can be seen from the graph that fish and chips fell over the provided period, whereas the amount of pizza and hamburgers that were eaten rose for the mentioned period. In the beginning, consumption of fish and chips was the most amongst Australian youngsters which was replaced by hamburgers by the end. However, the trend in pizza and hamburgers remained steady during the period of the last five years. On one hand, in 1975, the average number of hamburgers eaten by adolescents of Australia was 100 that decreased gradually over the next five years. Then, it slightly increased to just under 93 by 1985. Conversely, the shift saw a substantial drop for the remaining years and the consumption reached to the lowest level to about 40 by the year 2000. On the other hand, the average consumption of pizza and hamburgers was around 10 in the year 1975. This move saw a gradual increase over the next two decades. By the year 2000, the figures remained constant at little more than 80 and 100 respectively.
The graph compares the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of junk

food for teens in Australia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a 25-year

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
period
, between 1975 and 2000. The data is in number.

Overall
, as can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph that fish and chips

fell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the provided period, whereas the amount of pizza

and hamburgers that
were eaten
rose for the mentioned

period. In the beginning,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of fish and chips

was the most amongst Australian youngsters which
was replaced
by hamburgers by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
However
, the trend

in pizza and hamburgers remained steady during the

period of the last five years.

On one hand, in 1975, the average number of

hamburgers eaten by adolescents of Australia was 100

that decreased
gradually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
next
five years. Then,

it
slightly
increased to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 93 by 1985.
Conversely
,

the shift
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a substantial drop for the remaining years

and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
reached to the lowest level to about

40 by the year 2000.

On the other hand
, the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of pizza and

hamburgers was around 10 in the year 1975. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a gradual increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
next
two decades. By the

year 2000, the figures remained constant at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more

than 80 and 100
respectively
.

IELTS academic Fast food in Australian teenager

Academic
  American English
8 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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