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Average daily spending by visitors to New Zealand from 1997 and 2017

Average daily spending by visitors to New Zealand from 1997 and 2017 mWBE8
The line graph illustrates the data on how much various types of travelers to New Zealand spent on average daily on average to New Zealand between the period two years between of 1997 and 2017. Overall, there was an upward trend in the daily spending per day of those going on holiday holidaymakers and people visiting friends or relatives, while the trend of business visitors was opposite. In the first year, the average amount of money spent by people who travelled to this country for business was the highest, at around $260 per day in comparison with about $190 of tourists. By contrast, approximately $120 was spent on a daily basis by those visiting loved ones on a daily basis, which is lower than others. From that time onwards, after reaching a peak of 330$ in 2003, the daily expenditure of visitors for business fell dramatically to just under $220 in 2017. By contrast, the corresponding figure for vacationers experienced an upward trend despite some fluctuations, to nearly $250 in the end of the survey. Meanwhile, the average spending of the remaining category was still the lowest, where its figure increased to nearly $140 in 2007 after peaking at $220 in 2002.
The line graph illustrates the data on how much various types of travelers to New Zealand spent on
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average
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daily
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
to New Zealand between the period two years between of 1997 and 2017.
Overall
, there was an upward trend in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
spending per day of those going on holiday holidaymakers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visiting friends or relatives, while the trend of business visitors was opposite.

In the
first
year, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
amount of money spent by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who travelled to this country for business was the highest, at around $260 per day
in comparison
with about $190 of tourists. By contrast, approximately $120
was spent
on a
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daily
basis by those visiting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
basis, which is lower than others.

From that time onwards, after reaching a peak of
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$330".
330$
in 2003, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
expenditure of visitors for business fell
dramatically
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under $220 in 2017. By contrast, the corresponding figure for vacationers experienced an upward trend despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations, to
nearly
$250 in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the survey. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
spending of the remaining category was
still
the lowest, where its figure increased to
nearly
$140 in 2007 after peaking at $220 in 2002.
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IELTS academic Average daily spending by visitors to New Zealand from 1997 and 2017

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
202 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
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Task Achievement: 6.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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