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Attendace figures for Grandville stadium from 2017 to 2030

Attendace figures for Grandville stadium from 2017 to 2030 LBAJn
The bar chart shows information about the number of visitors entering Grandville Stadium for theater, concert and sporting events following a major renovation project. The attendees are predicted till 2030 from 2017. Overall, there will be an increase in the number of spectators in all 3 type of events across time, with Concerts having the highest increase which is by almost 5 times. Initially, in 1950, sporting events had the highest number of attendees at just below 150, 000 and continued to remain through to 2030. However, it attracted the least number of visitors after the renovation which was only just 3000. Considering Theater and concerts which were attended initially by about (10000 and 25000 respectively) in 2017, showed substantial growth in fans as opposed to sporting events. Concerts outnumbered theater events with a growth of around 120, 000 by 2030 which was roughly 3 times the number of attendees who preferred theater events which were just under 50, 000.
The bar chart
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shows
information about the
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number
of visitors entering
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Grandville
Stadium for
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theater
,
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concert
and sporting
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events
following a major renovation project. The attendees
are predicted
till 2030 from 2017.

Overall
, there will be an increase in the
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number
of spectators in all 3 type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
across time, with
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Concerts
having the highest increase which is by almost 5 times.

Initially
, in 1950, sporting
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events
had the highest
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number
of attendees at
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just
below 150, 000 and
Consider using "remained".
continued to remain
through to 2030.
However
, it attracted the least
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number
of visitors after the renovation which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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just
3000.

Considering
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Theater
and
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concerts
which
were attended
initially
by about (10000 and 25000
respectively
) in 2017,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
substantial growth in fans as opposed to sporting
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events
.
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Concerts
outnumbered
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theater
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events
with a growth of around 120, 000 by 2030 which was roughly 3 times the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of attendees who preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
which were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 50, 000.
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IELTS academic Attendace figures for Grandville stadium from 2017 to 2030

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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