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the graph below gives the information about the percentage of people,who watched television in their free time on uk betwwen 1990 and 2010.

the graph below gives the information about the percentage of people, who watched television in their free time on uk betwwen 1990 and 2010. rLWBp
The given table graph compares the data about the proportion of three different catagerious of individuals namly: men, women and infants, who watched television for spending their lesiure time in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2010. Overall, it can be noticed that the artio of all television viewers in uk followed up-ward trend during given time period except to the percentage of men viewers declined in the last year. In 1990, 15% women watched t. v in Uk, which increased continuously from 15% in 1990 to 35% in 2010, it accounted for a noticeable change in the percentage of female viewers than males. Although, the figure of infants showed a significant growth during changing time period for watching television, but it experienced with least ratio of children with figures only 5% in the first year(1990). While, the proportion of pupils was rose considerably by more than one-thirds(35%) untill last year. Moreover, one fifth men liked to watch television in their free time in 1990 and this figure grow with more than one quartar after a decade. However, the percentage of male viewers fall in the end year(2010), which witnessed for almost 19% in the UK and it was least proportion of males for watching television in their spare time than others in the same year.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table graph compares the data about the proportion of three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
catagerious
of individuals
Possible spelling mistake found.
namly
:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, women and infants, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for spending their
Possible spelling mistake found.
lesiure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2010.

Overall
, it can
be noticed
that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
artio
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
uk
followed up-ward trend during
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period except to the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
declined in the last year.

In 1990, 15% women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
t. v in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uk
, which increased
continuously
from 15% in 1990 to 35% in 2010, it accounted for a noticeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the percentage of female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
than males. Although, the figure of infants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a significant growth during changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period for watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it experienced with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
ratio of children with figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% in the
first
year(1990).

“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, the proportion of pupils was rose
considerably
by more than one-thirds(35%)
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
last year.
Moreover
, one fifth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
liked to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in 1990 and
The verb 'grow' is plural. Did you mean: "this figure grows"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this figure grow
with more than one
Possible spelling mistake found.
quartar
after a decade.
However
, the percentage of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
fall in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
year(2010), which witnessed for almost 19% in the UK and it was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
proportion of males for watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than others in the same year.
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IELTS academic the graph below gives the information about the percentage of people, who watched television in their free time on uk betwwen 1990 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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