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Attendace predictionfor grandville stadium

Attendace predictionfor grandville stadium MmXx9
The bar chart shows information about the number of visitors entering Grandville Stadium for theater, concert and sporting events following a major renovation project. Attendees are predicted till 2030 from 2017. Overall, there will be a general growth in the number of spectators in all 3 type of events across time, with Concerts having the highest increase by roughly 5 times. Sporting activities had the highest attendance in 2017 and remained so till the end. Initially in 1950, sports events had the highest number of attendees at just below 150, 000 and continued to remain through to 2030. However, it attracted the least number of spectators after the renovation which was only just 3000. Considering Theater and concerts which were attended initially by about (10000 and 25000 respectively) in 2017, showed substantial growth in fans as opposed to sporting events. Concerts outnumbered theater events with a growth of around 120, 000 by 2030 which was roughly 3 times the number of attendees who preferred theater events which were slightly under 50, 000.
The bar chart
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shows
information about the
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number
of visitors entering
Possible spelling mistake found.
Grandville
Stadium for
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theater
,
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concert
and sporting
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events
following a major renovation project. Attendees
are predicted
till 2030 from 2017.

Overall
, there will be a general growth in the
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number
of spectators in all 3 type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
across time, with
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Concerts
having the highest increase by roughly 5 times. Sporting activities had the highest attendance in 2017 and remained
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so
till the
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end
.

Initially
in 1950, sports
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events
had the highest
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number
of attendees at
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just
below 150, 000 and
Consider using "remained".
continued to remain
through to 2030.
However
, it attracted the least
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number
of spectators after the renovation which was
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only
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just
3000.

Considering
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Theater
and
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concerts
which
were attended
initially
by about (10000 and 25000
respectively
) in 2017,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
substantial growth in fans as opposed to sporting
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events
.
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Concerts
outnumbered
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theater
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events
with a growth of around 120, 000 by 2030 which was roughly 3 times the
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number
of attendees who preferred
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theater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
which were
slightly
under 50, 000.
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IELTS academic Attendace predictionfor grandville stadium

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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