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at a process diagram, featuring the life cycle of the silkworm and the production of silk cloth.

at a process diagram, featuring the life cycle of the silkworm and the production of silk cloth. YRg9B
The diagram below depicts the lifecycle of the silkworm and the various stages in the manufacture of silk cloth. Overall, the lifecycle of silkworm mainly consists of 4 stages starting from the hatching of egg to the formation of cocoon. This cocoon further passed to another 4 linear stages for the manufacture of silk dress. Initially, the eggs are laid in leaves by the adult butterfly then after 10 days these eggs become mature and forms silkworm larve by consuming the mulberry leaves as food. After 4 to 6 weeks this larve form the silk thread and enters the cocoon stage with in a period of 3-8 days. The moth formation from this stage takes approximately 16 days and the cycle continues. When the cocoon formation is completed it is passed on to the silk cloth production stage. Cocoon is boiled in a chamber then it is enters in to an unwind stage around 300-900 m threads were formed in this stage. The twisted threads either goes directly in to the dying section or to weave part then into the dying chamber. Finally, dyed silk threads were obtained.
The diagram below depicts the lifecycle of the silkworm and the various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
in the manufacture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silk
cloth.

Overall
, the lifecycle of silkworm
mainly
consists of 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
starting from the hatching of egg to the formation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cocoon
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cocoon
further
passed to another 4 linear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
for the manufacture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silk
dress.

Initially
, the eggs
are laid
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
by the adult butterfly then after 10 days these eggs become mature and forms silkworm
Possible spelling mistake found.
larve
by consuming the mulberry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
as food. After 4 to 6 weeks this
Possible spelling mistake found.
larve
form the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thread
and enters the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cocoon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
with in a period of 3-8 days. The moth formation from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
takes approximately 16 days and the cycle continues.

“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cocoon
formation
is completed
it
is passed
on to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silk
cloth production
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cocoon
is boiled
in a chamber then it is enters in to
After 'an', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'unwind' is correct. If 'unwind' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
an unwind
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stage
around 300-900 m threads
were formed
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
. The twisted threads either goes
directly
in to the dying section or to weave part then into the dying chamber.
Finally
, dyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silk
threads
were obtained
.
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IELTS academic at a process diagram, featuring the life cycle of the silkworm and the production of silk cloth.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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