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Annual museums and gallery visitors

Annual museums and gallery visitors n6Bnl
In the six years that are shown in the graphs, we can analyze how the visitors had changed in the museums and galleries. We can observe three different places and their annual visitors; the National Gallery, the Victoria and Alberta museum and the British museum. If we take a look, in 2007, the National gallery had the least visitors, while the Victoria and Alberta museum was rated as the most visited that same year. But in 2012, tables turned and the National Gallery got more than 15 million visitors, but the Victoria and Alberta museum only got 10 million visitors, which means that people started to visit more the National Gallery. On the other hand, analyzing British Museums' statistics, they started having 12 million visitors, but in the years of 2008, 2009 and 2010, visitors decreased around 65%. Years later, the British museum started to have more visitors again, reaching 14 million visitors in 2012.
In the six years that
are shown
in the graphs, we can analyze how the
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visitors
had
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changed
in the
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museums
and
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galleries
. We can observe three
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different
places and their annual
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visitors
; the
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National
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Gallery
, the Victoria and Alberta
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museum
and the British
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museum
. If we take a look, in 2007, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
National
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gallery
had the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
, while the Victoria and Alberta
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museum
was rated
as the most visited that same
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year
.
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But
in 2012, tables turned and the
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National
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Gallery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
more than 15
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million
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visitors
,
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but
the Victoria and Alberta
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museum
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
10
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million
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visitors
, which means that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to visit more the
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National
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Gallery
.
On the other hand
, analyzing British Museums' statistics, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
having 12
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
,
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but
in the years of 2008, 2009 and 2010,
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visitors
decreased around 65%. Years later, the British
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museum
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to have more
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visitors
again, reaching 14
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
in 2012.
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IELTS academic Annual museums and gallery visitors

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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