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The impact of instant foods

The impact of instant foods 0AYrG
This diagram shows how instant noodles are manufactured and I am going to say the way of cooking instant noodles. First of all, you take flour in the storage silos and mix with water and oil. Next, you make dough sheets by using rollers, then make it strips. If you can noodle discs, you cook it with oil. After drying it, you put noodle in a cup with vagetables and spices. And the end, you label and seal. I think we often eat instant noodle because it is too easy and too fast. When I don't want to cook anymore, It is very useful. However I noticed it contains oil too much in this diagram. So, it is not good for your health. If you eat it too much, you may become sick it is too bad, so I think it is not good thing that you eat too much.
This diagram
shows
how instant
noodles
are
manufactured and
I am going to say the way of cooking instant
noodles
.
First of all
, you take flour in the storage silos and mix with water and oil.

Next
, you
make
dough sheets by using rollers, then
make
it strips. If you can
noodle
discs, you cook it with oil. After drying it, you put
noodle
in a cup with
vagetables
and spices. And the
end
, you label and seal.

I
think
we
often
eat instant
noodle
because
it is too easy and too
fast
. When I don't want to cook anymore, It is
very
useful.
However
I noticed it contains oil too much in this diagram.
So
, it is not
good
for your health. If you eat it too much, you may become sick it is too
bad
,
so
I
think
it is not
good
thing that you eat too much.
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IELTS academic The impact of instant foods

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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