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Annual Expenditure of Schools in the UK

Annual Expenditure of Schools in the UK GMEGm
The three pie charts compares how much money a school in the UK spent every year in 1981, 1991 and 2001. It is clear that the salaries were the major expenditure of the school and the proportion of spending on other workers’ salaries were increasing in these three years. In 1981, the percentage of annual spending on teachers’ salaries was 40%, which rose up to 50% in 1991, with the decrease by 5% in 2001. By contrast, 15% of the budget of the school went to furniture and equipment, after which the figure dropped to 15%. While 2001 saw a considerate rise of the percentage of this category, with the figure of 23% of the spending in this year. Resources, such as books cost 15% of the budget of the school in 1981, reaching up to 20% in year 1991, while the percentage declined to 9% after 10 years. At the same time, there was a decline in the proportion of the school spending on other workers’ salaries, from 28% to 15% in the two decades. （We can also see that the figures of the expenditure on insurance remained comparatively steady, lower the 9% every year. ）
The three pie charts compares how much money a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in the UK spent every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
were the major expenditure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on other workers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
were increasing in these three years.

In 1981, the percentage of annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on teachers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
was 40%, which rose up to 50% in 1991, with the decrease by 5% in 2001. By contrast, 15% of the budget of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
went to furniture and equipment, after which the figure dropped to 15%. While 2001
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a considerate rise of the percentage of this category, with the figure of 23% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
in this year.

Resources, such as books cost 15% of the budget of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in 1981, reaching up to 20% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1991, while the percentage declined to 9% after 10 years. At the same time, there was a decline in the proportion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on other workers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
, from 28% to 15% in the two decades.
Possible spelling mistake found.
（We
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the figures of the expenditure on insurance remained
comparatively
steady, lower the 9% every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. ）

IELTS academic Annual Expenditure of Schools in the UK

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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