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Looking at the diagram, the number of men who were interested in scientific subjects stood higher than the figure for women, except Social Sciences.

Looking at the diagram, the number of men who were interested in scientific subjects stood higher than the figure for women, except Social Sciences. Aj52e
Looking at the diagram, the number of men who were interested in scientific subjects stood higher than the figure for women, except Social Sciences. It was about 22 thousand for Sciences and almost 20 thousand for Mathematics in the number of male students. Meanwhile, the Social Sciences was chosen by most of the women with approximately 25 thousand students and the total of students who chose this subject was the highest. On the other hand, female students preferred studying the rest, except Literature and Humanities. The number of men who chose this subject reached over 15 thousand, higher than women by almost 4 thousand students. With Humanities, which experienced the same number in both of two genders, stood at nearly 12 thousand.
Looking at the diagram, the
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number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who
were interested
in scientific subjects stood higher than the figure for women, except Social Sciences. It was about 22 thousand for Sciences and almost 20 thousand for Mathematics in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male
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students
. Meanwhile, the Social Sciences
was chosen
by most of the women with approximately 25 thousand
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students
and the total of
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students
who chose this subject was the highest.

On the other hand
, female
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students
preferred studying the rest, except Literature and Humanities. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who chose this subject reached over 15 thousand, higher than women by almost 4 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. With Humanities, which experienced the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
in both of two genders, stood at
nearly
12 thousand.
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IELTS academic Looking at the diagram, the number of men who were interested in scientific subjects stood higher than the figure for women, except Social Sciences.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
122 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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