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amount of people visiting the museum

amount of people visiting the museum gW1ya
The table shows the number of people who visited Ashdown museum, before, and after it was refurbished, as for the chart it demonstrates the level of satisfaction of these visitors during the same period. It is obvious that the amount of visitors to Ashdown museum increased after its refurbishment, from 74000 to reach a peak of 92000. On the same hand, its clear from the circular diagram, that the percentage of people who were fully satisfied scores 35% after refurbishment, which is much higher than that before refurbishment with a score of 15%. Thus, this is followed by a major decrease in dissatisfied people from 40% to reach 15% after refurbishment, On the same trend, the amount of satisfied people reveals a slight increase to reach 40%, compared to that before refurbishment which was 30%, which will normally affect that of very dissatisfied people, after reaching a value of 10% before refurbishment, it decreased by double to reach 5%. However the amount of people who didn't respond in still the same between these 2 periods.
The table
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shows
the number of
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people
who visited
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Ashdown
museum,
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before
, and after it
was refurbished
, as for the chart it demonstrates the level of satisfaction of these visitors during the same period. It is obvious that the amount of visitors to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ashdown
museum increased after its
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refurbishment
, from 74000 to
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reach
a peak of 92000. On the same hand, its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the circular diagram, that the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who were
fully
satisfied scores 35% after
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refurbishment
, which is much higher than that
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before
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refurbishment
with a score of 15%.
Thus
, this
is followed
by a major decrease in dissatisfied
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people
from 40% to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
15% after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refurbishment
, On the same trend, the amount of satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reveals a slight increase to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
40%, compared to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refurbishment
which was 30%, which will
normally
affect that of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dissatisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, after reaching a value of 10%
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before
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refurbishment
, it decreased by double to
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reach
5%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the amount of
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people
who didn't respond in
still
the same between these 2 periods.
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IELTS academic amount of people visiting the museum

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
175 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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