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Alices love ans how she had to pick over friendship and her true love but at the end she didn't have to

Alices love ans how she had to pick over friendship and her true love but at the end she didn't have to 6lpnB
Chapter 1: I was always indecisive, at least that is what basically everyone I had a history with tells me. I have the hardest time making the easiest decisions, according to them. But they have never, and most likely will never be in my place. Hi, I’m Alice, and love always comes in the wrong time for me. I really look forward to having a dashing, breathtaking romance with someone, but there’s always two someone’s, whenever one shows up, the world just happens to occasionally bring another to my life. I personally find it unfair, but It’s not something I or anyone, for that matter, can choose. I’ve always been the girl who was picked on as 1st choice. I honestly feel guilty about that. I know I shouldn’t, but I know that if I wasn’t, so many more friends would pop up. But that’s all past now, I hope, I’ve found some friends I’m pretty sure don’t mind being the second choice to things. I know that sounds wrong, but I’m pretty sure it shouldn’t. It’s not like it’s their choice, anyway. ‘Hurry up! ’ I mumbled, politely as I can. I don’t know if my friends are too slow, or I’m too fast for organizing things in school and going to our next class. It honestly stresses me because I always like to be the best for all people, teachers, bully, or whatever human being. If someone ever saw me with bad thoughts or intentions, I would do all in my power, so they don’t think that anymore. ‘I’m doing my best you know’ Isabelle, my friend said sarcastically. ‘And if we arrive late so what? We’ve already done that before and nothing happened right? ’ I hated how much she knew to get under my nerves just the amount enough for me to not punch in the face and take out her brain. ‘Isabelle’s right, Alice’ said Mellissa, another one of my friends. Even though I liked her very much as a friend, she didn’t have the same kindness – and many other- good qualities Isabelle had. I stared them with the most mortifying look I had, which occasionally, was good to have. They say it comes out alone, but sometimes I must force it to get what I want, but that was just with them. There was not much to say after that, but I could see them working a little faster, which means I got what I wanted. It always worked. It was almost way too simple, to be honest. We all rushed up to sports class, Isabelle brushing her long, black hair into a puffy ponytail. I just kept mine as it was, it was good being the teacher’s favorite. Sometimes it’s not that good in English considering he’s a creepy old man. But I deal with it for the sake of being the best. ‘You’re so lucky, Alice’ said Sarah, another friend of mine. ‘You never have to worry about how you look in sports class because the teacher won’t notice it anyway. I wish that it was me. I can’t even imagine people loving me by just being myself! ’ I know her words were not supposed to be harmful, but if wasn’t that what could it possibly be? Trying to show how much of an icon I am? She could’ve done that in other words. Even after that, I knew she didn’t mean any harm, so I just nodded and pulled my hair into a messed-up ponytail, so I didn’t have to hear any word about this “favoritism” thing, even though I knew it was true. We got to the sports field, but the teacher still hadn’t arrived yet. It has happened quite a lot these few days. I’m honestly glad sometimes because it’s just creepy for him to look at me considering he’s about the age of my dad. It would still be creepy if he wasn’t, to be honest. When mister Robert finally showed up, he stared at me, with a look that I’m pretty sure he though no one noticed. Well, I did. I’m pretty sure so did Isabelle. She glanced at him, wondering what the reason was he would ever stare to a junior girl the way he does. Ava- the most annoying girl in my pe class- looked at Mr. Robert like he was her once-in-a-lifetime love. Me and Ava have math together, and I’m sure she’s the weirdest girl I’ve ever seen. She always looks at the male teacher’s flirtatiously, and plays with her hair around the seniors, especially, Isabelle’s boyfriend. Isabelle never knew about things like this because her boyfriend didn’t tell her. He never did. I’m sure he even likes Ava flirting with him. . . He also begs me not to tell her. I’m sorry he doesn’t beg, he threatens me. Once he said: ‘Listen Amanda’ (He knew my name) ‘If you ever tell Isabelle about this, I will find a way for everything of your life to be shattered so be careful’. He told me this while pushing me into a locker from a poor kid that was just trying to get his stuff. I felt bad for him. Every time a situation like this happened, I’m sure he picks the same locker to push me into, which I’m sure, some people will take it the opposite way. Most of my fights with Isabelle -that didn’t happen often- are about she keeps thinking that Alexander, her boyfriend, has a thing for me. That’s why whenever he’s around while I’m with her I try to keep my mouth shut to avoid this kind of fight. That’s one of the things I hate more about his existence. Every lunch break, I had to shut up and not talk to Isabelle. I honestly feel selfish because of that, I should let Isabelle talk with whoever she wants, but, that guy couldn’t possibly be a good choice. I know that. The next day when I arrived at school, I saw Isabelle talking to Alexander, so I pretended I didn’t see them and walked away. I ended up sitting up in “the lonely table”. Or at least people called it that. Everyone who sat on that table was -not a nerd- but a person who had no friends. But it also a place to meet new people. That’s how I met most my friends, anyhow. I sat there for 15 minutes, waiting for anyone, even Ava, to show
Chapter 1:

I was always indecisive, at least
that is
what
basically
everyone I had a history with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tells
me. I have the hardest time making the easiest decisions, according to them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they have never, and most likely will never be in my place. Hi, I’m Alice, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
time for me. I
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
forward to having a dashing, breathtaking romance with someone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there’s always two someone’s, whenever one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
up, the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
happens to
occasionally
bring another to my life.

I
personally
find it unfair,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
It’s not something I or anyone, for that matter, can choose.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
’ve always been the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
who
was picked
on as 1st
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
honestly
feel guilty about that.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
I shouldn’t,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that if I wasn’t,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
would pop up.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
that’s all past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, I hope, I’ve found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
I’m
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pretty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sure
don’t mind being the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
to things. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that sounds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I’m
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pretty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sure
it shouldn’t. It’s not like it’s their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
, anyway.

‘Hurry up! ’ I mumbled,
politely
as I can. I don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
if my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are too slow, or I’m too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
for organizing things in school and going to our
next
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
honestly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I always like to be the best for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, bully, or whatever human being. If someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
me with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thoughts or intentions, I would do all in my power,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that anymore.

‘I’m doing my best you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know’
Isabelle, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
said
sarcastically
. ‘And if we arrive late
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
what? We’ve already done that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and nothing happened right? ’ I hated how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knew
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
under my nerves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the amount
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for me to not punch in the face and take out her brain.

‘Isabelle’s right, Alice’ said
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mellissa
, another one of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
Even though
I liked her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
, she didn’t have the same kindness
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
qualities Isabelle had. I stared them with the most mortifying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
I had, which
occasionally
, was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
to have. They say it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
out alone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
force it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what I want,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
with them.

There was not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
to say after that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them working a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
faster, which means I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
what I wanted. It always worked. It was
Please check whether an article is missing: "a almost".
almost
way too simple, to be honest. We all rushed up to sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, Isabelle brushing her long, black hair into a puffy ponytail. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
mine as it was, it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
being the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
favorite.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
it’s not that
Use "good at" to mean "skilled" with school subjects. Try this: "good at English".
good in English
considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he’s
a creepy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I deal with it for the sake of being the best.

‘You’re
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lucky, Alice’ said Sarah, another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
of mine. ‘You never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about how you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
in sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
won’t notice it anyway. I wish that it was me. I can’t even imagine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
loving me by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
being myself! ’ I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
her words were not supposed to be harmful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if wasn’t that what could it
possibly
be? Trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
of an icon I am? She could’ve done that
in other words
. Even after that, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knew
she didn’t mean any harm,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
nodded and pulled my hair into a messed-up ponytail,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I didn’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
hear any word about this “favoritism” thing,
even though
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knew
it was true.

We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to the sports field,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
still
hadn’t arrived
yet
. It has happened quite a lot these few days. I’m
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
honestly
glad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
creepy for him to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
at me considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he’s
about the age of my dad. It would
still
be creepy if he wasn’t, to be honest. When mister Robert
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
up, he stared at me, with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
that I’m
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pretty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sure
he though no one noticed. Well, I did. I’m
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pretty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
did Isabelle. She glanced at him, wondering what the reason was he would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ever
stare to a junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
the way he does. Ava- the most annoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
in my
Possible spelling mistake found.
pe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
- looked at Mr. Robert like he was her once-in-a-lifetime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.

When referring to yourself and somebody else, put their name first. Also check whether the nominative form "I" is required here.
Me
and Ava have math together, and I’m
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sure
she’s the weirdest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
I’ve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
. She always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
at the male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
flirtatiously
, and plays with her hair around the seniors,
especially
, Isabelle’s boyfriend. Isabelle never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knew
about things like this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
her boyfriend didn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tell
her. He never did. I’m
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sure
he even likes Ava flirting with him.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
He
also
begs me not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tell
her. I’m sorry he doesn’t beg, he threatens me. Once he said: ‘Listen Amanda’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(He
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knew
my name) ‘If you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tell
Isabelle about this, I will find a way for everything of your life to
be shattered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
be careful’.

He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me this while pushing me into a locker from a poor kid that was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
his stuff. I felt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for him. Every time a situation like this happened, I’m
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sure
he picks the same locker to push me into, which I’m
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sure
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will take it the opposite way. Most of my fights with Isabelle -that didn’t happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
- are about she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
thinking that Alexander, her boyfriend, has a thing for me. That’s why whenever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he’s
around while I’m with her I try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
my mouth shut to avoid this kind of fight.

That’s one of the things I hate more about his existence. Every lunch break, I had to shut up and not talk to Isabelle. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
honestly
feel selfish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that, I should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
Isabelle talk with whoever she wants,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, that guy couldn’t
possibly
be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that.

The
next
day when I arrived at school, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
Isabelle talking to Alexander,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I pretended I didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them and walked away. I ended
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
up sitting up
in “the lonely table”. Or at least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
called it that. Everyone who sat on that table was -not a nerd-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a person who had no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it
also
a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. That’s how I met most my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, anyhow. I sat there for 15 minutes, waiting for anyone, even Ava, to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
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IELTS academic Alices love ans how she had to pick over friendship and her true love but at the end she didn't have to

Academic
  American English
13 paragraphs
1081 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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