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Advantages of living in Sweden

Advantages of living in Sweden BL5LV
In my opinion living in Sweden is far better than living any other country in the World. First of all, in Sweden you can do whatever you want to do. For example if you want to be a musician you can be or if you want to be a sportsman you can be. Even if you don't want to work, you can do it also. Also in Sweden you can earn more money compare to other countries. The minimum wage is very satisfactory and also the cost of living is not so high. There are also other advantages of living in Sweden. So, that's why i prefer to live in Sweden instead of any other part of the world.
In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in Sweden is far better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
country in the World.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in Sweden you can do whatever you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do.
For example
if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be a musician you can be or if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be a sportsman you can be. Even if you don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to work, you can do it
also
.

Also
in Sweden you can earn more money compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries. The minimum wage is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
satisfactory and
also
the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
high.

There are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in Sweden.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, that's why
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Sweden
instead
of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
part of the world.
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IELTS academic Advantages of living in Sweden

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
119 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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