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traditional music important than international music

traditional music important than international music 2x1PJ
Music is everywhere. Each place have different kind of music that represent their basic. Music is represent how the people live too. All kind of music is important either traditional music or International music. Each music has listener its self. I am not agree if traditional music more important than international music. Firstly, Music can show how felt of who listened. Eventhough that traditional or modern music. Traditional music show how creative people use limited tool to produce beautiful. International music show how grow the tools to produce music with variative tools. Many kind of tool produce wide lenght of sound. Listener can choice song or music that suitable for themself. Second, International music is universe style who generally accepted by most of people in the world. That music can be international music because of how the musician produce music with feel can be accepted. The type most of the song is easy listening. People can related with the tone, lyric or the video music that support how the international music want to made. Thirdly, International music already improve in all the way. Its suitable with most people and keep improve by the time. Modern tools of music with electronic touch. International music can produce same too. Sometimes traditional music is too uniqe for several people. The people who listened will feel noise. Traditional music is not important than international music. Both of them are important. International music is music is grow with who listened. Both of kind of music have their listener to listened.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is everywhere. Each place
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "has".
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that represent their basic.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is
Consider using a past participle here: "represented".
represent
how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
too. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has listener its self. I am not
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
music.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how felt of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listened
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
or modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how grow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
variative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
wide
Possible spelling mistake found.
lenght
of sound. Listener can choice song or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that suitable for
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is universe style
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of how the musician
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
with feel can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
. The type most of the song is easy listening.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can related with the tone, lyric or the video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that support how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
want
Did you mean "to make"?
to made
.

Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
in all the way. Its suitable with most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
by the time. Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
with electronic touch.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
same too.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is too
Possible spelling mistake found.
uniqe
for several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listened
will feel noise.

Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is not
Use "(important)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Both of them are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
Consider using a past participle here: "grown".
grow
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listened
. Both of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
have their listener to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listened
.

IELTS academic traditional music important than international music

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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