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A graph showing consumption of 3 spreads during 1981 to 2007.

The line chart outlines the intake of spreads name margarine, low fat & reduced and butter throughout the years 1981 and 2007. Overall, the use of butter was highest in begining, butit felt down rapidly in entire chart. Whereas, low-fat and reduced spreads use rocketed. Starting from, butter it was used in maximum proportion during 1981 nearly 140 grams and it reached around 160 grams in 1986. Then after, there was a rapid drop in its use and it touched 100 grams in 1991. In addition, use of butter was constantly declining from 1991 to 2007, and it felt down to about 50 grams in 2007. Furthermore, margarine spread was consumed nearly 90 grams in 1981 but it reduced by approximately 10 grams in 1986. Moreover use of margarine remained stable from 1991 to 1996. After which, there was a significant reduction in its use and it was least ate in 2007 nearly 40 grams. Moving towards low fat and reduced spreads, its use was about 10 grams in 1996 but then after, it was consumed drastically and reached above 80 grams in the year 2001, and the use droped by 10 to 20 grams in 2007.
The line chart outlines the intake of
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spreads
name margarine, low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
&
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reduced
and
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butter
throughout the years 1981 and 2007.
Overall
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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butter
was highest in
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begining
,
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butit
felt down
rapidly
in entire chart. Whereas, low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
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reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
rocketed. Starting from,
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butter
it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in maximum proportion during 1981
nearly
140
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
grams and
it reached around 160
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grams
in 1986. Then after, there was a rapid drop in its
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
use and
it touched 100
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grams
in 1991.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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butter
was
constantly
declining from 1991 to 2007, and it felt down to about 50
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grams
in 2007.
Furthermore
, margarine
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spread
was consumed
nearly
90
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grams
in 1981
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
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reduced
by approximately 10
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grams
in 1986.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of margarine remained stable from 1991 to 1996. After which, there was a significant reduction in its
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
use and
it was
A determiner is probably missing here: “the least”.
least
ate in 2007
nearly
40
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grams
. Moving towards low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
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reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
, its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
was about 10
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grams
in 1996
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then after, it
was consumed
drastically
and reached above 80
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grams
in the year 2001, and the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “dropped”, the past tense form of the verb ‘drop’?
use droped
by 10 to 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 2007.

IELTS academic A graph showing consumption of 3 spreads during 1981 to 2007.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
197 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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