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A char showing coffe buying and drinking habit of 5 Australian city

A char showing coffe buying and drinking habit of 5 Australian city KwBrM
The bar chart elucidates a the proportion of coffe or tea drinking and buying habits of people who live in five cities of Australia in a four week of period of time. At a cursory glance, a majority of residents prefer to go cafe but buying fresh coffe or tea is not so popular there. From graph, the highest percentage of instant coffe was bought by Hobart people at around 55%, Brisboune was in the second position at just under 55 %, but this is the only city had more preference instant coffe than anything else. Remaining cities, Adalaide, melbourne, and sydney saw a range between 45 -50 %. Regarding fresh coffee, while both Brisbane and Adelade stood in the bottom at around 35%, 45% was the figure of remaining cities More than 50% of population interested in buying fresh coffe, for this, melborne and hobard shared the the number one position at 65%
The bar chart elucidates
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "a" or "the" is left.
a the
proportion of
Possible spelling mistake found.
coffe
or tea drinking and buying habits of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
of Australia in a four week of period of time.

At a cursory glance, a majority of residents prefer to go
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
buying fresh
Possible spelling mistake found.
coffe
or tea is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
popular there.

From graph, the highest percentage of instant
Possible spelling mistake found.
coffe
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by Hobart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at around 55%,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Brisboune
was in the second position at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 55 %,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
city had more preference instant
Possible spelling mistake found.
coffe
than anything else.

Remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Adalaide
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
melbourne
, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
sydney
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a range between 45 -50 %.

Regarding fresh coffee, while both Brisbane and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Adelade
stood in the bottom at around 35%, 45% was the figure of remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
More than 50% of population interested in buying fresh
Possible spelling mistake found.
coffe
, for this,
Possible spelling mistake found.
melborne
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
hobard
shared
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
number one position at 65%
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IELTS academic A char showing coffe buying and drinking habit of 5 Australian city

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
153 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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