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how older people can be effective

how older people can be effective b2aql
One of the human fears is death! The dread that we have faced. It's slow but sure" Nothing hurts like the truth. But in this way, people's endeavor for survival and life are beautiful and admirable. Life expectancy is one of the characteristics that different countries are being compared. It depends on the facilities and the people's life of that country. For example, the lifetime of people who lives in war-torn countries is much shorter than people who lives in a developed country. Adequate income, convenience, government support, people's helps, All in all it increases the quality of life and reduces stress thus longevity and life expectancy will increment. These are external factors that affect people's age. also there are many internal factors. Which have wonderful influence For example, having healthy diet, eating fewer carbohydrates, vegetables and fresh foods, avoiding fast food and frozen foods. Exercise is another way to enhancement life cycle‌ Simple exercises such as walking that by doing those we can living more several years and watch the seasons and days with the family. But in my opinion, the most important factor for having a long age is the motivation to live. It’s matters not how a man dies, but how he lives You have to enjoy breath Enjoying life to the best of my knowledge means: being satisfied with what you have and not grieving for what you don't have.
One of the human fears is death!

The dread that we have faced.

It's slow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
sure
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"


Nothing hurts like the truth.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
endeavor for survival and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
and admirable.

Life expectancy is one of the characteristics that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries are
being compared
.

It depends on the facilities and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of that country.

For example
, the lifetime of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in war-torn countries is much shorter than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "live"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
lives
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed country
.

Adequate income, convenience,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
support,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
, All in all it increases the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
thus
longevity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy will increment.

These are external factors that affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
age.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
also
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
internal factors.

Which have wonderful influence

For example
, having healthy diet, eating fewer carbohydrates, vegetables and fresh foods, avoiding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food and frozen foods.

Exercise is another way to enhancement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
cycle‌

Simple exercises such as walking that by doing those we can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "live"
living
more several years and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the seasons and days with the family.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my opinion, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor for having a long age is the motivation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

It’s matters not how a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
how he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives


You
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
enjoy breath

Enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to the best of my knowledge
means:
being satisfied
with what you have and not grieving for what you don't have.
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IELTS speaking how older people can be effective

Speaking
  American English
15 paragraphs
234 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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