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Dream education in the study

Dream education in the study ebOxA
In the future, I would like to study Computer Science. Because first of all I'm a software developer and I would like to improve my knowledge and skills deeply in this field. Second of all, I'm really enthusiastic about it. In this kind of science, I am really interested in problem-solving, clean architecture, and clean code. Actually, When I achieve a good IELTS band score then I will study Computer Science. There are lots of resources on the internet about it. Also, everybody can take the Harvard CSX50 course freely on the internet. It would be good to study at university but it needs a lot of money and time. Because of that, I will study by myself.
In the future, I would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
Computer Science.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
I'm a software developer and I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
deeply
in this field. Second of all, I'm
really
enthusiastic about it.

In this kind of science, I am
really
interested in problem-solving, clean architecture, and clean code.

Actually
, When I achieve a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
IELTS band score then I will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
Computer Science. There are lots of resources on the internet about it.
Also
, everybody can take the Harvard CSX50 course
freely
on the internet. It would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money and time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, I will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
by myself.
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IELTS speaking Dream education in the study

Speaking
  American English
4 paragraphs
118 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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