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Describe an adventurous person whom you know. v.1

Describe an adventurous person whom you know. v. 1
Describe an adventurous person whom you know. You should say: who this person is how you know him/her what he/she does and explain why you think he/she is an adventurous person.   Model Answer 1: There are many different types of people around us. While some of them are just simple and laidback type, the others like to try different kinds of things just for the fun of it. My friend, Rabid Hassan, is one such person who likes to try such things that other people wouldn’t exactly try under any normal circumstances. Let’s start with his “fish catching” activities. Well, how many people have you met who has a “weird” habit of catching fish in a lake by drowning himself into its water for more than a minute? Well, I bet that the answer would be “not too many”. Well, when it comes to Rabid Hassan, who I have known from my early high school days, he exactly does that in order to catch fish from the mud underneath the water of a lake only to find out, of course, that he has caught some big frogs or a big fat snake. Pretty scary, isn’t it? Well, it may be scary for “normal” people like us, but for an adventurous Rabid, it is just a fun thing to do. Of course, some people may find nothing so adventurous about catching a snake by mistake in a lake, but, I don’t think that they will say the same thing when they know that a person likes to ride his motorbike sometime on an uneven road at a speed which is close almost 100 kilometres per hour. By the way, I am talking about an uneven road where a regular person like me wouldn’t dare to ride his motorbike at a speed which is more than 50 kilometres per hour. Anyway, based on some of these activities, mentioned above, I think Rabid certainly is one of those persons who like adventures. Besides, I have seen him watching all kinds of TV shows on travel and adventures a lot of times. Finally, his intense desire to go to places, where nobody would dare to go, certainly makes him one of the adventurous persons around me that I can think of.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
an
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adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
whom
you know
. You should say:
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who
this
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person
is how
you know
him/her what he/she does and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
he/she is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 1:

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around us. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
simple and
Possible spelling mistake found.
laidback
type, the others
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like
to try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the fun of it. My friend,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rabid
Hassan, is one such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likes
to try such things that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wouldn’t exactly try under any normal circumstances.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with his “fish catching” activities.
Well
, how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have you met
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has a “weird” habit of catching fish in a lake by drowning himself into its water for more than a minute?
Well
, I bet that the answer would be “not too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
”.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Well
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rabid
Hassan,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
I have known from my early high school days, he exactly does that in order to catch fish from the mud underneath the water of a lake
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to find out,
of course
, that he has caught
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
frogs or a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
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fat
snake. Pretty scary, isn’t it?

Well
, it may be scary for “normal”
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
like
us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rabid
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a fun thing to do.
Of course
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may find nothing
so
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adventurous
about catching a snake by mistake in a lake,
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but
, I don’t
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think
that they will say the same thing when they know that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likes
to ride his motorbike sometime on an uneven road at a speed which is close almost 100
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
per hour. By the way, I am talking about an uneven road where a regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
like
me wouldn’t dare to ride his motorbike at a speed which is more than 50
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
per hour.

Anyway
, based on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these activities, mentioned above, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rabid
certainly
is one of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
like
adventures.
Besides
, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
him watching all kinds of TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
on travel and adventures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
times.
Finally
, his intense desire to go to places, where nobody would dare to go,
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
him one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
around me that I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
of.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS speaking Describe an adventurous person whom you know. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
5 paragraphs
378 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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