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describe about myself and my hometown

describe about myself and my hometown GlgwL
I am a student and my major is Banking. I am sophomores at University of Economics Ho Chi Minh City. I was born and raised in Tra Vinh which is a small province of the Mekong Delta. Tra Vinh is a city located between two big rivers, Tien and Hau, although the area is not large, but this is a rich and fertile land. Tra Vinh is known by many scenic spots such as: Bat Pagoda, Ba Om Pond, . . . In addition, there are many favorite specialties such as: Tet cake, macapuno. I love dynamic lifestyle here because the people in there very friendly and hospitable. People help the neighbor if they need and they always smile and really help when you meet difficult. That’s why, I must say, it attracts me and other people from every jobs and social classes. There are a few things that I don't like in my hometown that people use plastic bags to buy things instead of using bamboo baskets like before, I think using bamboo baskets is very good for the environment. I have witnessed a lot of changes in this city, first of all, the roads, dirt roads are replaced by asphalt roads. second, the embankment is covered with a row of trees and finally there are many commercial centers, shops, cafes and densely built buildings. People in my city are very active, they are productive every day and make good use of their time. Perhaps that is why in their free time they often spend more time with their family. Some fun things can be going fishing or simply sitting in a coffee shop to talk with friends. When you come to my city, you can have a bustling but friendly life, you will be greeted by extremely hospitable locals and will enjoy a lot of specialties.
I am a student and my major is Banking. I am sophomores at University of Economics Ho Chi Minh City.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was born
and raised in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tra
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinh
which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
province of the Mekong Delta.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tra
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinh
is a city located between two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
rivers,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tien
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hau
, although the area is not large,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is a rich and fertile land.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tra
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinh
is known
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scenic spots such as: Bat Pagoda, Ba Om Pond
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
favorite specialties such as: Tet cake,
Possible spelling mistake found.
macapuno
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
dynamic lifestyle here
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
friendly and hospitable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the neighbor if they
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
need and
they always smile and
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
difficult. That’s why, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say, it attracts me and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "job"?
jobs
and social classes. There are a few things that I don't like in my hometown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
plastic bags to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things
instead
of using bamboo baskets like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
using bamboo baskets is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the environment. I have witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in this city,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, the roads, dirt roads
are replaced
by asphalt roads.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
second
, the embankment
is covered
with a row of trees and
finally
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
commercial centers, shops,
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
and
densely
built buildings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in my city are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
active, they are productive every day and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their time. Perhaps
that is
why in their free time they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
spend more time with their family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
fun things can be going fishing or
simply
sitting in a coffee shop to talk with friends. When you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to my city, you can have a bustling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
friendly life, you will
be greeted
by
extremely
hospitable locals and will enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
specialties.
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IELTS speaking describe about myself and my hometown

Speaking
  American English
1 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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