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Your sister has asked you to organize the music for her wedding at the end of next month. Write a letter to your friend who is an amateur musician. In your letter ● ask your friend to perform at the wedding ● describe why he/she would be suitable for this event ● explain how your friend will be compensated if they agree.

Your sister has asked you to organize the music for her wedding at the end of next month. Write a letter to your friend who is an amateur musician. In your letter ● ask your friend to perform at the wedding ● describe why he/she would be suitable for this event ● explain how your friend will be compensated if they agree. YLw8r
Dear Johnny, I’m writing to let you know that my elder sister is getting married in the coming month where the responsibility to organize the music has given to me and I’d be really grateful if you could join us in the program. I’d be more than happy if you could perform at the wedding ceremony because I’ve seen your performance at the annual function in our college and it was outstanding. More specifically, the country song at the very beginning of the occasion and the DJ work at the end by you and your team was fantastic. You’re connected with my family from our childhood, so everybody will be more comfortable watching your act rather than an unknown artist. Besides, we could arrange the schedule collaboratively in a convenient way so I couldn’t think anybody else best suited for this occasion. I also like to offer a handsome amount of money for this work to you because I would cost this if I could arrange anybody for the program. And offering you is much better than anybody else. Best wishes, Shohada
Dear Johnny,

I’m writing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you know that my elder sister is getting married in the coming
It is better to use 'month' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "month when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
month where
the responsibility to organize the music has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to me and I’d be
really
grateful if you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
us in the program.

I’d be more than happy if you could perform at the wedding ceremony
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I’ve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
your performance at the annual function in our college and it was outstanding. More
specifically
, the country song at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beginning of the occasion and the DJ work at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
by you and your team was fantastic.

You’re connected with my family from our childhood,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everybody will be more comfortable watching your act
rather
than an unknown artist.
Besides
, we could arrange the schedule
collaboratively
Consider replacing "in a convenient way" with the adverb for "convenient"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a convenient way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I couldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
anybody else best suited for this occasion.

I
also
like to offer a handsome amount of money for this work to you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I would cost this if I could arrange anybody for the program. And offering you is much better than anybody else.

Best wishes,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Shohada

IELTS letter Your sister has asked you to organize the music for her wedding at the end of next month. Write a letter to your friend who is an amateur musician. In your letter ● ask your friend to perform at the wedding ● describe why he/she would be suitable for this event ● explain how your friend will be compensated if they agree.

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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