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Your local public library wants to make improvements to their services and facilities, in order to get ideas from the public, they have asked library users to send them suggestions in writing. Write a letter to the librarian in your letter describe what you like about the library, say what you don’t like, make suggestions for improvement

Your local public library wants to make improvements to their services and facilities, in order to get ideas from the public, they have asked library users to send them suggestions in writing. Write a letter to the librarian in your letter describe what you like about the library, say what you don’t like, make suggestions for improvement kVln
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to express my opinion about the library services and give some opinions. I have been using the library for 5 years, however, what I find pleasurable about the library is the 24 hours opening of the study center which enables we the working people to have access at our off work time. Although, i would express my dislike on the unsafe locker rooms. A few times my money went missing from my bag which left me with no choice than to always come to the library with just my study materials. Furthermore, improvements on the security would be a good input to the library. It can be employments of security agents or installing cctv cameras at important rooms of the study center, this would increase the trust of users and enable them come with a few personal belongings like their wallets and phones. I hope my suggestions would be looked into Yours faithfully.
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to express my opinion about the library services and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opinions.

I have been using the library for 5 years,
however
, what I find pleasurable about the library is the 24 hours opening of the study center which enables we the working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to have access at our off work time.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would express my dislike on the unsafe locker rooms. A few times my money went missing from my bag which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
me with no choice than to always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the library with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
my study materials.

Furthermore
, improvements on the security would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
input to the library. It can be employments of security agents or installing
Possible spelling mistake found.
cctv
cameras at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
rooms of the study center, this would increase the trust of users and enable them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with a few personal belongings like their wallets and phones.

I hope my suggestions would
be looked
into

Yours
faithfully
.

IELTS letter Your local public library wants to make improvements to their services and facilities, in order to get ideas from the public, they have asked library users to send them suggestions in writing. Write a letter to the librarian in your letter describe what you like about the library, say what you don’t like, make suggestions for improvement

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Your local public library wants to make improvements to their services and facilities, in order to get ideas from the public, they have asked library users to send them suggestions in writing. Write a letter to the librarian in your letter describe what you like about the library, say what you don’t like, make suggestions for improvement