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Your friend has a travel company and would like you to come and work with him.Write a letter replying to your friend's offer.In your letter: explain what you know about your friend's company, choose whether you accept or decline the offer, give reasons for your choice

Your friend has a travel company and would like you to come and work with him. Write a letter replying to your friend's offer. In your letter: explain what you know about your friend's company, choose whether you accept or decline the offer, give reasons for your choice nBEe
Dear Hans, It was a pleasant surprise to receive your letter last Monday. I must confess I have not been in touch as frequently as I should have but you have never been away from my thought. I was thrilled to learn that your travel company is thriving gradually. I wish every success of it in the coming days. It was an honour that you have offered me a position in your company. However, I regret to turn down the offer as I have recently started working in a bank as a junior officer. This is a dream job for me and I am so happy to have been recruited there. I wish I could have joined your company and work closely with you! It was a startup company last year and now it already has a second branch. I am so happy for you and I am sure you will excel in your business very rapidly. Please convey my best wishes to Maria and your children. Why don't you visit us sometime and have fun like the old days? Stay fine and take care. Warm wishes, Friedrich
Dear Hans,

It was a pleasant surprise to receive your letter last Monday. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
confess I have not been in touch as
frequently
as I should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you have never been away from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. I
was thrilled
to learn that your travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is thriving
gradually
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
wish every success of it in the coming days.

It was an
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
that you have offered me a position in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
However
, I
The verb 'regret' is used with the gerund form: "regret turning".
regret to turn
down the offer as I have recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working in a bank as a junior officer. This is a dream job for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
me and
I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy to have
been recruited
there.

I wish I could have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and work
closely
with you! It was a startup
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
last year and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it already has a second branch. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
you and
I am sure you will excel in your business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rapidly
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
convey my best wishes to Maria and your children. Why don't you visit us sometime and have fun like the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days? Stay fine and take care.

Warm wishes,

Friedrich
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IELTS letter Your friend has a travel company and would like you to come and work with him. Write a letter replying to your friend's offer. In your letter: explain what you know about your friend's company, choose whether you accept or decline the offer, give reasons for your choice

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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