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Your child is going on a three day school trip to another country. The head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: Say why you would like to go on the trip Suggest what you could do to help during the trip Ask other questions about the trip

Your child is going on a three day school trip to another country. The head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: Say why you would like to go on the trip Suggest what you could do to help during the trip Ask other questions about the trip PNkg
Hi Grandma, How are you? I'm doing great. I am really sorry that I couldn't come home to meet you last week. I understand how much you would have expected for my arrival, but I have disappointed you. As I have already informed you that my exams were going to begin next month, I had few assignments to be completed and submitted which carried internal marks. Additionally, they have reschedule the last submission date also. Due to this, I had to cancel the plan to visit home. However, to compensate for the missed arrival and to make you feel ecstatic, I have decided to apply for leave the following week, to stay at our house. Furthermore, I wanted to confirm your availability, so that I can finalise the visit. I have decided to take you out for a short trip to your favourite place which you had been asking me for a longer time. Once again apologise for making you feel depressed. I'm waiting for your reply to take up further. Take care. Best Wishes, Renuka
Hi Grandma,

How are you? I'm doing great. I am
really
sorry that I couldn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you last week.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
understand how much you would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
for my arrival,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I have disappointed you.

As I have already informed you that my exams were going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
next
month, I had few assignments to
be completed
and submitted which carried internal marks.
Additionally
, they have
Use past participle here: "rescheduled".
reschedule
the last submission date
also
. Due to this, I had to cancel the plan to visit home.

However
, to compensate for the missed arrival and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you feel ecstatic, I have decided to apply for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the following week, to stay at our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Furthermore
, I wanted to confirm your availability,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can
Possible spelling mistake. 'finalise' is British English.
finalise
the visit. I have decided to take you out for a short trip to your
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
place which you had been asking me for a longer time.

Once again
Possible spelling mistake. 'apologise' is British English.
apologise
for making you feel depressed. I'm waiting for your reply to take up
further
. Take care.

Best Wishes,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Renuka

IELTS letter Your child is going on a three day school trip to another country. The head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: Say why you would like to go on the trip Suggest what you could do to help during the trip Ask other questions about the trip

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Your child is going on a three day school trip to another country. The head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: Say why you would like to go on the trip Suggest what you could do to help during the trip Ask other questions about the trip