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Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school asking if they will accept your son. Describe his academic achievements and scope of interests.

Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school asking if they will accept your son. Describe his academic achievements and scope of interests. e5b2G
Dear Mrs. Richards, My name is Tunde Afala, my self and family will be moving to Ikoyi Lagos, from the Northern part of Nigeria. I was recently promoted to Lagos state and we are currently sourcing for suitable schools in the area for our kids. Your school, Wellington High caught our attention. Let me explain better. During our research, we stumbled on your school and we are in awe of the academic excellence your school portrays. Your Science Department has won the Science Fair consistently for the past 5 years. I was quite interested in this, as my first son is an avid science student and I am looking for an enabling environment to train his talent. He has also won awards for his previous schools and has represented the state in a National Science event in 2000. I also understand that each child is expected to favor a specific sport in order to build their minds. I'm happy to say my son is also the captain of the basket ball team and has learnt the act of team building. He is the most friendly person ever and this is not because he is my son but rather because of his participation in the "Buddy-Pact System" his school operated. This system was incorporated to help new students get acquitted with the school and get new friends to help them assimilate better. With the above, I am interested in getting information as regards to getting my son admitted into your school. In conclusion, would you be kind enough to respond with pertinent information to getting admission into Wellington High School. Also, let me know what you would require from us to smoothen the process. I anticipate a favorable response. Thanks! Regards, Tunde Alfala
Dear Mrs. Richards,

My name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tunde
Possible spelling mistake found.
Afala
, my self and family will be moving to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ikoyi
Lagos, from the Northern part of Nigeria. I was recently promoted to Lagos
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
state and
we are
currently
sourcing for suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in the area for our kids. Your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, Wellington High caught our attention.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
better. During our research, we stumbled on your
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
school and
we are in awe of the academic excellence your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
portrays. Your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
Department has won the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Fair
consistently
for the past 5 years. I was quite interested in this, as my
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
is an avid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
student and
I am looking for an enabling environment to train his talent. He has
also
won awards for his previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and has represented the state in a National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
in 2000. I
also
understand that each child is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to favor a specific sport in order to build their minds. I'm happy to say my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
is
also
the captain of the basket ball team and has
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
the act of team building. He is the most friendly person ever and this is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his participation in the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Buddy-Pact System
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
operated. This system
was incorporated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
new students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
acquitted with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
new friends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them assimilate better. With the above, I
am interested
in getting information as regards to getting my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
admitted into your school.

In conclusion
, would you be kind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to respond with pertinent information to getting admission into Wellington High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know what you would require from us to smoothen the process.

I anticipate a favorable response. Thanks!

Regards,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tunde
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alfala
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IELTS letter Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school asking if they will accept your son. Describe his academic achievements and scope of interests.

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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