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You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost.

You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. rMLn
Dear Sir, I am Misbah Karim working as an import officer in a multinational company. Recently I saw your post on LinkedIn regarding two weeks session on six sigma in USA. I was looking for this seminar since last year because I want to gain knowledge regarding six sigma and finally I am excited to attend this seminar. Before registered myself, I would like to have some detailed information regarding this seminar. First of all, please tell me the type of this seminar whether the speaker will give only a presentation or there will be a two-way discussion. Also, let me know who will be the speaker and the detailed background of his/her. I will be thankful for you if you give me the proper schedule along with the proper plan for the program. Will also appreciate it if you let me know the total cost of the program. Last but not the least, please let me know if the accommodation is including in the cost. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Thank you in advance. Yours faithfully, Misbah Karim
Dear Sir,

I am
Possible spelling mistake found.
Misbah
Karim working as an import officer in a multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Recently I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
your post on LinkedIn regarding two weeks session on six sigma
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
. I was looking for this seminar since last year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I want to gain knowledge regarding six sigma and
finally
I
am excited
to attend this seminar.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
registered myself, I would like to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detailed information regarding this seminar.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me the type of this seminar whether the speaker will give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a presentation or there will be a two-way discussion.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know who will be the speaker and the detailed background of his/her. I will be thankful for you if you give me the proper schedule along with the proper plan for the program. Will
also
appreciate it if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know the total cost of the program. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know if the accommodation is including in the cost.

Looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Thank you in advance.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Misbah
Karim
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IELTS letter You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost.

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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