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You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost.

You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. nB8n
Dear sir/madam, I hope this letter finds you well, I was informed about the seminar in Japan and I will like to participate because it’s related to my work here in UAE. I was told it will hold on the 27th or 28th of October. I just want to be properly informed on the correct day and time. I will also appreciate if you send me detailed information on the program as well. I hear it always meet up to expectations. I have a budget and will like to know the cost of everything which includes feeding, accommodation and transportation. I will be glad if you send me all the requirements so as to plan for this seminar. I hope to hear from you soon. Regards, Bisola
Dear sir/madam, I hope this letter finds you well, I
was informed
about the seminar in Japan and I
Did you mean "would"?
will
like to participate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it’s related to my work here
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the UAE".
in UAE
. I was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
it will hold on the 27th or 28th of October. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to be
properly
informed on the correct day and time.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
will
also
appreciate if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me detailed information on the program
as well
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
hear it always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up to expectations.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have a budget and will like to know the cost of everything which includes feeding, accommodation and transportation.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
will be glad if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me all the requirements
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
plan for this seminar.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
hope to hear from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. Regards,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bisola

IELTS letter You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost.

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
126 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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