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You would like to get enrolled in a qualification course. Write a letter to the person in charge of the course and ask for detailed information regarding the course, fees and prerequisites. v.3

You would like to get enrolled in a qualification course. Write a letter to the person in charge of the course and ask for detailed information regarding the course, fees and prerequisites. v. 3
Dear Sir or Madam, I am John Parkinson writing in regard to getting enrolled in a diploma course that your institution has recently invited candidates to apply to. I am hoping that you would provide me with some further details regarding this. I have learned about the course from a website and require further details to apply to this course. I have recently earned a Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Edinburgh and hold a diploma in Basic Computing. I would like to enhance my skills in this arena and your course 'Advanced Diploma in Computing' seems a fitting one to me. Could you please write back to me with details about the course, particularly what topics it will cover and how long it will take. I need to know the admission process and course fee so please mention all the costs this course includes and how should I apply. If there is a special requirement to apply to the course, I should know it beforehand. I would be much obliged if you can provide me with the details at your earliest as I am looking forward to getting enrolled in this course. Yours faithfully, John Parkinson Model
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am John Parkinson writing in regard to getting enrolled in a diploma
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
that your institution has recently invited candidates to apply to. I am hoping that you would provide me with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
regarding this.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have learned about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
from a website and require
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
to apply to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have recently earned a Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Edinburgh and hold a diploma in Basic Computing.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would like to enhance my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in this arena and your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
'Advanced Diploma in Computing' seems a fitting one to me.

Could you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
write back to me with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
,
particularly
what topics it will cover and how long it will take. I need to know the admission process and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
fee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
mention all the costs this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
includes and how should I apply.

If there is a special requirement to apply to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, I should know it beforehand. I would be much obliged if you can provide me with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
at your earliest as I am looking forward to getting enrolled in this course.

Yours
faithfully
,

John Parkinson

Model
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS letter You would like to get enrolled in a qualification course. Write a letter to the person in charge of the course and ask for detailed information regarding the course, fees and prerequisites. v. 3

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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